I'm not cut out for college at BYU-Idaho.
My whole life, I have received great grades. I have done all the homework asked of me, and teachers have loved me for that. BYU-I is different. They aren't here to teach you how to memorize facts and repeat them back like in high school. The teachers here actually put stuff into your brain. They actually want you to learn, to become an intellect, to grow in that way instead of wanting you to just be able to spit out memorized facts. My whole life has been focused on memorization.
I don't know how to learn. I haven't been taught how to learn. I've been taught how to remember things for a test and then to forget them and move on.
I'm not cut out for BYU-Idaho.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Rexburg
I've been in college for only a week and a half, and yet it already feels like an eternity. It's a weird feeling being here at the place I have thought of for so long: The place I thought would be terrifying, the place I thought would be too much to handle, the place I didn't want to go to at the very end. Now that I'm here, this place, this blessed spot of Rexburg, Idaho is so amazing. It is so far from scary that it scares me at times. ;)
Walking around campus, I feel at peace. I feel at home. I've started calling my dorm home, which I told myself I would never do. But this campus, this college, BYU-Idaho feels so....right. I am meant to be here at this time. I know this for a fact. I have felt it through my classes. I have felt it through the people I have come to know. I have felt it when I think about how I've been here for eternity having this great time, and then I remember I've only been here for a week and a half. It feels that right. I have felt it through all of the Mormon aspects this school offers. Prayers at the beginning of math class are amazing to me. Science mixed with religion feels so fantastic. This place...I'm meant to be here.
And at the same time...I'm having the hardest time of my life. I'm already an independant person. I've been that way practically my whole life. I like doing things for myself. It feels good. I like depending on myself. But this is different. This kind of independence is complete. I'm responsible for every move I make, and that is starting to break me down. And it's so hard.
But I know for a fact that I am meant to be here. I can't prove it physically, but as my science teacher said, not all things can be, and that's okay. I feel it with every fiber of my being. So I know everything will be okay no matter how my college experience plays out.
College.....Man I'm old!
Walking around campus, I feel at peace. I feel at home. I've started calling my dorm home, which I told myself I would never do. But this campus, this college, BYU-Idaho feels so....right. I am meant to be here at this time. I know this for a fact. I have felt it through my classes. I have felt it through the people I have come to know. I have felt it when I think about how I've been here for eternity having this great time, and then I remember I've only been here for a week and a half. It feels that right. I have felt it through all of the Mormon aspects this school offers. Prayers at the beginning of math class are amazing to me. Science mixed with religion feels so fantastic. This place...I'm meant to be here.
And at the same time...I'm having the hardest time of my life. I'm already an independant person. I've been that way practically my whole life. I like doing things for myself. It feels good. I like depending on myself. But this is different. This kind of independence is complete. I'm responsible for every move I make, and that is starting to break me down. And it's so hard.
But I know for a fact that I am meant to be here. I can't prove it physically, but as my science teacher said, not all things can be, and that's okay. I feel it with every fiber of my being. So I know everything will be okay no matter how my college experience plays out.
College.....Man I'm old!
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