Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Gerhard

Three years ago yesterday, one of the greatest people I have ever known died. It blows my mind to think of how long it's been and yet how it still feels like it happened yesterday.

My grandpa, Gerhard "Jerry" Schwebach, was a man I looked up to with the highest of respect. He helped to raise my sisters and me; He was always there for us. He had the sweetest spirit about him. His gentle nature made you positive that he loved you so much.

I have very fond memories of playing the piano with his hand on my shoulder while he looked on with a smile. He even threw money down the stairs once and started clapping for me; He never accepted that money back. "I don't know what you're talking about, Deborah," was all he said. He liked coats. I have one specific memory of him saying, "Well don't you come crying to me when you get all sick because you decided it wasn't cool to wear a coat." I just laughed. I remember his breakfast cake, and every time he would make it, excitement would be running throughout the house the whole night before as it was a rare treat. I remember playing chess with him and how he let me win once just so I would be happy. I remember him falling asleep wherever he sat. I remember him paying my sisters and me to rub his feet for him. I remember combing his few strands of grey hair for coins as well. I remember him making mac and cheese for my sisters and me to eat while we waited downstairs, eyes glued to the coo coo clock just waiting for it to go off. I remember him stuffing so much food into his mouth and then just smiling. I remember him informing me for the first time what a charly horse is as I ran around the house screaming that I was going to die and my leg was going to have to be chopped off. I remember him eating sardines... I remember the last hug I shared with him and how it lasted so long.

I miss my grandpa every day of my life. I would not be the person I am today without his amazing influence. He raised me right alongside my mom, and for that, I will forever love him.







Saturday, January 1, 2011

2011

I felt it would be appropriate to reflect on the year 2010 and make some resolutions for 2011. So here we go! :)

2010 Reflections:
The Good:
I got accepted to BYU-I!
I received a scholarship and federal aid for BYU-I!
I met Brynn!
I graduated high school!
I won a car!
I went to Massachusetts and Rhode Island!
I completed my first semester of college, passing all of my classes!
I started dressing how I want to instead of how I think people expect me to dress!
I started smiling more and walking with my head up!
I made a few college friends!
I spent Christmas and New Years surrounded with family and friends!

Exclamation marks go to all of them for being so fantastic!

The Bad:
Hm................Holy cow. Nothing bad happened this year! I mean, the little stupid things every now and then that make you a little sad happened, but nothing big happened. 2010...You've been the best year yet!

2011 Resolutions:
1. I have this problem with people. They scare me. Correction: New people scare me. As a consequence, I don't talk to new people unless they talk to me first. Resolution-I will talk to people I don't know and make friends in Rexburg because of this. I will be friendly instead of quiet and in the shadows.

2. Another problem of mine - I get offended easily. I take what has happened in my life in the past, and I bring it to the future and put it in situations where it doesn't belong, and thus, people offend me quite often. Rather, I let people offend me often. Resolution-I will brush things off easier and not bring the past into the present. I will work on not being offended by stupid things that weren't meant in offense.

3. I like to serve, but I don't get much opportunity to serve. I don't seek it out. Resolution-I will find opportunitites to serve and help others in need.

4. I have a problem allowing others to help me. It's a pride issue I guess. Resolution-I will allow others to help me when I need the help. I will not act like I can do everything on my own.

I can't wait to see what opportunities and lessons 2011 has in store for me and those around me...Happy 2011!